Baby Steps

Like most folks confronted with blatant discrimination against GLBTQ people, I've often wished there was a magic wand I could wave that would just wipe out all the homophobia, bigotry and misunderstanding (or, in my less graceful moments, all the homophobic and bigoted people). Legally speaking, I've often had the same wish; one fell swoop to give the GLBTQ community the same rights that heterosexual and gender-conforming people enjoy. Let's just jump to the dramatic legislative victories already!

But that's not reality. The dramatic legislative victories aren't going to come less than four years after the issue of gay marriage brought conservative voters to the presidential election in droves, at a time when the current Republican golden boy puts out an ad blatantly touting his Christianity and appealing to belief in a Christian god in order to attract voters.

So what is reality? Reality is baby steps. Reality is education. Reality is the building of understanding and comfort, and the reduction in fear, that can't come from anywhere other than familiarity. This familiarity comes from asserting ourselves into mainstream everyday life in whatever meaningful ways we can achieve, whenever we can achieve it. Making ourselves seen and known AND ACCESSIBLE to the people who don't yet understand, in the hopes that little by little the unknown and dangerous becomes less so, and the things we're asking for become less outlandish to them. You push the envelope, and eventually the edge is no longer the edge.

I was happy this past week to see one such case, where legislation is being introduced to include domestic partner benefits for federal employees. A couple people that I've talked to have had the reaction of, "Well, it's not like legal protection, and it only helps people who work for the federal government." But, I think it would do more than that. It used to be that asking for domestic partner benefits in an interview was enough to not get you hired. Nowadays, domestic partner benefits are widely recognized as a legitimate request, and necessary to remain competitive in the employment market.

Being able to put the federal government on the list of leading employers that recognize our relationships and grant us more the same access to benefits and health coverage as heterosexual couples, would be a pretty good step. It would be one more step along the road to formalizing and legitimizing GLBTQ relationships, having them formally recognized by yet another entity...and a fairly significant one at that.

Of course, this all certainly doesn't mean we should not push for the dramatic legislative victories, and instead accept what is handed to us. It just means that if those victories don't come, these baby steps can still eventually lead to something great.